Kamakura Yuuki's Talks

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【エッセイ#11】人を好きになる方法。シロウトでもイケる!(JPN/ENG)

このイラストのアーティストは『むぎ』さんです instagram.com/izumi_no_mugi

人を好きになる方法。シロウトでもイケる!
How to make someone fall in love with you in 7 simple steps

文字数 1,408字


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トピックはうそです!
I was joking about the title!


もともと自分に無関心のない人を急に注目するようにさせるのは、神様でもできるかわかりませんが。
And I am not sure that even gods are capable of turning someone who has no feelings for us to be attracted to us like magic.
ネット上に多く書かれた方法、または恋愛相談などは読んだとき私たちは半信半疑ですが、なぜか読む度に良いと感じ、その方法は本当にあると信じたいようですが。
Even though we may have doubt about such methods and other love advices on the internet, for some reason we never understand why it always feel good to read them, and it seems like we deeply hope that such methods do exist.
しかし、読者様の経験上でも、それはないだろうか。
However, from your own experience, I guess you know that they do not.

本当のタイトルは『好きじゃない人はどうやっても好きにならない』です
The real title is “You can’t fall in love if there is no love in the first place”

読者様は学生時代や今でも、平凡だし、まあまあ好きじゃない人を曖昧に想像してみたら、彼らがどうしたら読者様をキュンとさせるくらいのことがありますか。
I would like to ask you to think about someone from your school days or even now that you do not feel attracted much, and then imagine if is there anything they can do that would make you like them romantically?
漫画なら男女は野良猫とかに優しさを見せて見かけた相手は感動しますが、現実は漫画の絵のようにみんながかわいいわけではなくて、ただ「そう?」と私たちが思う可能性が高いです。
In manga, when the main character witnesses how such male or female love interest pets a stray cat kindly they might change perception about them, but in reality that not everyone is as lovely as in manga illustration, and it is possible that you would just feel something like “and so what?

乃木坂46さんの恋愛ゲームです

相手をキュンとさせる作戦、例えばプレゼントをあげるとかが効くのはもう好きになる可能性がある人です。男性の場合(デートゲームの)推しアイドルの数人が彼の注目を取り合って、いい機会があれば違う人に迷うようですが、興味がない人のためではないです。
The plan that you might want to use to win others’ hearts such as by giving gifts or such, only works as long as you are someone whom they are already interested in. In case of a man, it would be similar to when (in a dating game) many of the girl idols he likes compete for his attention, that if there is some romantic moment with a certain girl it might make him fall for her and such, but it is not to be used with anyone who does not like you to begin with.
それに、万が一何かの魔法を使って好きな人と付き合えば、彼らに対して自分はほしい相手ではなく、スペア的な存在ではないか疑います。
Furthermore, even if you resort to some sorcery and become successful in dating the person you like, I doubt that they might still see you just as “a spare” instead of someone they really want to be with.

人が気づかない、そしてあまり認めたくないのは自分は何か好きになったらほとんど理由がないです。もし自分の行動を観察したら、刺激がある動画のサムネイルはあまり変わらないし、芸能人なども好きになるタイプはいつも同じだとわかります。
We are not really aware, or at least want to admit that we almost do not use reason when it comes to liking anything. If we are to observe our own behavior, we would find that thumbnails of videos that we feel attracted to would never be different, and that actors or other famous persons we like would also be of the same types.
私たちに対して、好きな人は優しさなどを見せる人で論理的より、大体全く知らない人が好きになります。
As for us, instead of our liking someone for kindheartedness that is shown, although logical that is, we tend to like people whom we know next to nothing about.
私の憶測ですが、その芸能人の場合、いつか彼らはスキャンダルになったら、ニュースサイトに怒りのコメントを打つのはもともと好きな人が嫌いになるより、そもそも興味があまりない方だと思います。例えば三、四年前のスキャンダルを、某朝鮮人らしい見た目の女優は、既婚の有名な俳優と関係があって子ども三人との家族を崩壊した事件に、怒っていたのは大体女世ではないかと。
It may be only my conjecture but in case of celebrities, whenever there is a scandal about them, I think that those who post furious comments on news websites are not loving fans who regret their support and turn against those celebrities, but someone who has always been indifferent about them. For example, in a scandal 3-4 years before of a certain actress who looks Korean that had a relationship with a famous actor who was married and caused his family with three children to break up, I doubt that people who are angry are probably mostly female.

その結果……

私たちは一旦だれかを好きになったら、相手はどんなスキャンダルに巻き込まれてもいつも心の余裕があります。しかし、逆も本当です。
Once we like someone, no matter what kinds of scandals they were to be entangled in we would still be able to forgive them. Nevertheless, the contrary is also true.
興味がない人だと言ったら、彼らは漫画みたいにどのくらい優しさを見せても、ネット上の『好きになる方法』を全部使っても、私たちの気持ちがあまり変わらないと思います。
 In case of someone we are not interested in, no matter how much kindheartedness they show even if it is exactly the same with how the manga characters do in the stories, or for whatever “attraction technique” that is written on the internet that they use, I do not think that it would make we feel anything as much as they might expect.
エッセイで私はいつも悲観的なことを言いますが、もう一つ言いたいです。それは効果のある『人を好きになる方法』だと思いついたのは1)お金持ちにならなければ、2)顔を整形するのです。
Although it seems like I keep writing only pessimistic things in the essays, there is still one more of them I would like to add: the truly effective “ways to make someone fall in love with you” which I can think of are 1) you become rich, and that 2) you go get plastic surgery.
ところが、絶望するより、いい側面もあります。
However, despite of it sounding hopeless, there is also a bright side to it.


好きじゃない人に対して頑張るのは無駄でも、知り合いかまだ出会わないか、自分のことが自然だし、好きになりやすい人が沢山います。
Even if it is almost pointless in trying to spend time on someone who does not have feelings like you, with your acquaintances or people you are yet to meet, there are still lots of people who might find that you are pleasing and even love you without much effort.

写真はニフティ不動産のサイトより

確かに見た目は主役ですが、そこまで大切ではない場合もあります。自分の価値に気づき、無条件に付き合いたい人は本当にいます。
Of course that your appearance is still important, but there would be times that such thing might not be so necessary. Besides, there really are people who see you as who you are when dating without trying to make much demand, because what they really want is just to be with you.
結局自分に好きな人がいるのはいいことだと思います。
And lastly, I think that it would be nice just to have someone that loves us. 
また最後に悲観的なことを言いたいですが、もし私たちはすべての恋愛に失敗するし、なぜかこの世界は二人きりになっても、相手と付き合うより独身でいる方がいい、そういう人を想像できたら、逆も本当です。自分のことをそのように感じる人もこの世界に多くいます。
By the way, I should add something that sounds pessimistic as an ending. So if we can imagine anyone who, after we failed in all sort of loves and somehow the world has only the two who are us and the person left, but then feel we would still rather remain single than dating them, the contrary is also true: In this world there are many who feel the same about us.
叶わない恋愛は永遠に叶わないのかもしれません。
For those who do not love us, perhaps they never will.